I want to take this opportunity to introduce a wonderful colleague of mine, Kim Hill! She will be the guest blogger today. It is pretty cool to have her share her expertise with you today because she will be talking about learning something new, living outside your comfort zone, which is exactly what she is doing by blogging! So cool! So cool!
Emotional Intelligence growth really requires us to try new things outside our comfort zone. Yes, it can be hard, painful and overwhelming at times, but really, that is where the growth, “The Magic” happens.
Take it away Kim!
…the new techie version of yourself 🙂
This blog is about the fear of trying something new!
I have never blogged before so this is something I am trying for the first time too! I understand the uncertainty and fear associated with trying something new.
Let start by defining “Something New” … let us start with the things it is not! … drugs, sex and rock and roll.
Let us say the something new is…
Meeting new people,
Doing a class presentation,
Driving a car,
Going to a job interview,
Going on a date.
The difficulty with trying something new is…We really do not know what to expect!
That is what makes it NEW!
….and very challenging!
Sometimes our thoughts and our worries take a hold and sometimes will not let go!
….all of the “What if this happens”, “what if that happens”, “what if I look stupid?” , “what if people laugh at me?”, “What if I fail!”, “What if I cannot do it!”, “What if… What if?“
See how difficult it can be?
… and why we want to avoid this pain.
…and remember your early learning self…
Let us not get paralyzed by the “what ifs”, no matter how loud, no matter how interfering they can be.
Come with me on a little journey…
…let us go way back…way back when you were young and inexperienced…
Think about the first time riding a bike.
- It may have looked scary, and challenging and foreign … how can anyone balance on those two wheels?
- Parents or siblings were coaching you and supporting you with words of encouragement …”You can do it, just try!”… “I will be holding the seat until you are steady to do it on your own”.
- But the fear of pain and falling was an interfering thought..and you may have said “I can’t do this!”
- You then saw your friends easily riding bikes…
- The coaxing, encouraging and support from those around you, convinced you to give it another try.
- Before you did, you may have asked others when and how they learned.
- Eventually, you decided to try it again!
- It felt uncomfortable, shaky, uncoordinated and nerve racking!
- “I’m going to fall” … is what you told yourself.
A few attempts later…
…..maybe even a few falls
….but all of a sudden…..
You were able to RIDE A BIKE!
The process is the same for trying anything new.
- Calm the fear.
- There is support, encouraging people and information out there … you just need to look.
- There may be challenges and difficulties, but that is ok! That is part of the process. Don’t let it stop you. Just try it!
- Practise…Even super athletes must practise a skill they are good at.
- Be flexible, adjust and learn from the challenges.
- Accept the NEW learned behaviour as another skill you have acquired! Make it part of your life.
I just want to take a moment to say that Emotional Intelligence growth is uncomfortable and overwhelming at times, but so worth it. Growth in the 15 Areas of Emotional Intelligence can help you learn new things, take on the challenges in your life, help you to manage your stress and, most importantly, you will have the tools to become the best version of yourself.
I will upload an Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire to help you assess where you are at
and set some growth goals.
Check Back Later Today!
Thank you so much to those who have emailed me comments! I love hearing from you 🙂
Dr. Heather Drummond, C.Psych.
Psychologist * Passionate Advocate for Flourishing * Human Muddling Through